


Unwise Decisions Made With Love

by kayley



Series: Fixing It My Way [2]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: F/M, Fix-It, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-13
Updated: 2016-07-28
Packaged: 2018-07-23 18:17:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,424
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7474764
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kayley/pseuds/kayley
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Phil Coulson wasn't the only subject for Project T.A.H.I.T.I.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I felt Age of Ultron had broken up a brilliant relationship pairing between Clint and Natasha, especially after seeing Natasha wearing the arrow necklace in Winter Soldier. So this is my attempt at resolving some of that.
> 
> I also hate that certain people don't know that Coulson is alive, so this resolves that issue for me too in a way.

The loss of Morse and Hunter from the ranks of trusted SHIELD agents chafed at Coulson. He had known the risks, the sacrifices that might need to be made but after losing Ward, Trip and so many others, having them leave even for the greater good was something that didn’t sit right with him.

“Coulson,” he answered his phone, not recognising the number that had appeared on the screen.

“Agent Coulson, its Dr. Streiten. I need to meet with you.”

“I don’t know if that’s…” Coulson started, not wanting to see one of the people responsible for bringing him back, despite knowing that the man was against some of the techniques used.

“There’s another.”

With that, Coulson stopped and listened to Streiten.

“I don’t know who, I only just found information about it. Apparently it wasn’t exactly the same as you but still. I need to see you to pass on what I found.”

After arranging to meet with the doctor, Coulson headed straight for May and Mack. He still occasionally had his doubts about Mack but at the end of the day, he trusted Mack to keep the rest of the team safe if he was to take May with him.

He started to fill the two in on needing to meet with an informant, and straight away the two protested claiming it was a trap, that it was unsafe to do.

“Mack, I need you to keep the others safe. May, I need you with me.”

Both stopped their arguments.

“Sir?” May asked, with the briefest look of shock on her face.

“Later,” he responded. “But I know that this could be a trap. That’s why I’m taking May. But Mack, I know you’ll do the right thing by the team and that you’ll keep things running the way they should be. I just really need to meet with this informant for myself.”

May and Mack exchanged looks, and then nodded.

“We leave in 5, be ready,” Coulson ordered May before racing to get his own go bag.

*

Once they were safely on the Quinjet, away from anyone else and on the go, Coulson filled May in as much as he could.

“You can understand why I needed to go now right?” he asked her.

“And Streiten has no idea who it is?”

“None. Just that it happened shortly after mine and it was someone high profiled based on how redacted everything he found appears to be. Any ideas?”

“Just one… and I hope I’m wrong,” she murmured, shaking her head at Coulson when he went to ask for more information.

“I’ll tell you when we have the other information.”

*

The meeting with Streiten didn’t go for long, but it was a fruitful meet. Once he handed everything over, Streiten disappeared into the night stating he wanted nothing further to do with SHIELD, HYDRA or any secret government agency for that matter.

The two SHIELD agents headed back to the Quinjet and got in the air quickly, not wanting to stay exposed for too long.

Once they were on the way back to the base, Coulson opened the file.

Subject: B0771-H

Subject’s partner brought the subject to base after incidents during mission >. Partner was concerned that the subject was starving themselves, not sleeping, and training themselves into injury. The partner believed that the subject wasn’t suicidal but was not actively doing anything to protect themselves. Other mental concerns were raised and the psychiatrists were unable to get the subject to talk to them about anything, acting almost as though they were unable to hear anything being said.

“Shit.”

“What’s wrong?” May asked quickly as she quickly scanned over the Quinjet’s instrumentation to make sure she hadn’t missed a sign of danger. Once she was sure it wasn’t that, she looked back at Coulson, noticing his face paling.

“Coulson? Coulson? PHIL!?” she called to him. “Did you work out who it was?”

“It’s… uh… it’s…” Coulson stammered, trying to get himself under control again.

“Barton?” May guessed.

Coulson glanced up at her with a glazed look. 

“I think so,” he responded after taking a few minutes to compose himself.

The two friends sat there for a long time, the silence stretching between them. Neither wanting to say anything more but unable to forget that it was still only a guess. Finally May turned back to focus on flying, giving him space to continue reading.

The files gave no more clear indication that it was definitely Clint Barton. But for Coulson, there were enough small things to tell him it was. Right down to the subject number, the use of the letters couldn’t be coincidental… even the numbers tied into the identification.

The further he read, the more concerned he was; both as to the condition that Barton had ended up in, and to what would happen when the mental control broke. Add to that, the condition that Romanov would be in.

“Have you spoken to Nat recently?” Coulson asked softly.

“Not for a while,” May answered, almost as softly.

“You knew it was Barton?”

“I guessed. Things got weird last time I spoke to Nat.”

“Weird how?”

May took a deep breath, ordering her thoughts before answering.

“It sounded like she was mourning both you and Clint, which I couldn’t understand. The mourning you, it made sense. As far as they knew, you were dead. But the Clint part… I knew they had been in a relationship but as far as I knew, everything between them was great. Then she was talking as if she had to sacrifice him to save him. Makes sense that she’d be mourning if she was the thing that had to be removed from the memory of him.”

“We might need to reach out to her, see if we can confirm what happened.”

“I’ll call when we get back to base. If they sold her on the idea of TAHITI, then she might know you are alive, but no use outing that until we know for certain.”

“Good idea. I hate hiding from them, but it’s not the right time to surface again unless it’s absolutely necessary.”

*  
   
Natasha didn’t do wistful. 

Correction, Natasha didn’t do wistful unless she knew for certain she was alone and somewhere safe.

She held onto the arrow necklace that she had bought as a reminder of what had once been, wishing it could go back to those days.

Clint had been her best friend for almost a decade, but her lover for less than five years. It hurt that he would call her and talk to her about his loving family, having her come out and stay at the farm. He would never understand what it felt like to see him with Laura, Cooper, Lila and Nate. But she couldn’t erase herself from his life completely. She had to settle for it to be rewritten. And no one could ever know.

The sound of her phone shocked her enough that it took a moment to regain her composure.

“M2874 M9615,” was quickly rattled off before she could even greet anyone.

“How’d you get this number Mel?” she asked curiously.

“Maria.”

“Figures,” Natasha responded with an eye roll despite knowing it wouldn’t be seen.

“Where’s Barton?” May asked abruptly, knowing that Natasha would hate it if she beat around the bush.

Natasha stilled. There was absolutely no reason for May to be asking about Barton.

“Don’t know.”

“Try again Nat, you always know where he is.”

“Not anymore…” Natasha almost sighed. She was still feeling a little wistful, even when the feeling of paranoia that there was something big about to happen came across her.

“Nat, I came across some information that I really want to verify but can only do that if you help me,” May changed tactics.

“And it’s to do with Barton?” Natasha queried. It still felt weird that she was calling him Barton, not Clint but she needed the distance.

“It’s to do with all of Strike Team Delta.”

Natasha blinked. But that meant Coulson…

“You’re with him aren’t you? That’s why you went back into the field…”

“Correct. Let me know where to meet you, the three of us need to talk.”

Once the phone call was over, Natasha breathed deeply. She knew it was coming to an end. She wouldn’t need to pretend anymore. But there was still a possibility that Clint would choose Laura over her, especially once it got out that she was the one who requested it.

Grabbing her bag, she slipped out of Stark Tower and made FRIDAY promise not to tell Stark that she was gone, nor the reason behind it.


	2. Chapter 2

Clint stared out the bedroom window, watching his kids play in the yard. One of the reasons why he and Laura had settled on the farm was because it would be such a great place to raise children. He was able to allow them the space to run and enjoy the fresh air instead of being in the smog of large cities.

Sure it made working at SHIELD difficult at times, especially since no one knew where he left to go when he had a break. It was a little easier once Natasha had found out, but it was still difficult. When he was part of Strike Team Delta, he had to be very careful what he told Nat when Coulson was around. He had often thought of including Coulson in on the secret but it never felt 100% right. Except, that wasn’t right was it? He had trusted Coulson with his life and those he loved. He had told him everything. Yet, apparently not his family. Something didn't feel right about that idea. Especially since Fury knew, but he didn't trust Fury as much as he had trusted Coulson.

His head hurt as he tried to think it over.

“Clint, where are you?”

“Upstairs,” he called back to Laura, with a smile on his face for when she entered the room. His head was already clearing from the headache.

*

Laura knew that things weren’t going as planned. Something had happened and it was breaking down the treatment that they had used. She knew what she needed to do.

“Fury,” the abrupt voice she knew well from the past couple of years answered her call.

“Sir, it’s Agent Anderson calling about B0771-H,” said Laura calmly, not put off by his tone.

“Go ahead, Anderson.”

“As I reported last month, the subject is showing signs of pain and awareness that something isn’t right with them,” she said, hopeful he would actually give her something to work with here.

“Any ideas if he’s worked it out yet?”

“No Sir. Requesting permission to terminate this assignment,” she answered him, hoping she'd be allowed back to her normal life. It was something she never expected when she joined SHIELD. That she and her children would be used for a long term undercover operation to recuperate an Avenger.

“Negative. I need him to be fighting fit. I’ll advise the others to get him in the field again to distract him.”

“Understood Sir,” she replied, hanging up the phone in disappointment. She hated lying to Clint. She had learnt to love him over the passed couple of years, and knew it would destroy him again if the truth got out.

*

At the same time as Laura Barton was reporting to Nick Fury, Natasha Romanov was rushing to meet up with Coulson and May.

Coulson and May had arrived first at the safe house that Natasha had directed them to. It was one that Phil was familiar with but it was impolite to break into someone else’s safe house unless it was absolutely necessary. Instead the two of them headed to a nearby diner and had dinner while waiting for the signal from Natasha that she was in.

“How’d she sound?” Coulson asked, genuinely interested.

“Emotional.”

“Shit.”

If Natasha was struggling to hide her emotions then it was as bad as they feared.

“How do you want to play this?” May asked.

“Knowing Nat, straight up.”

“Good. She deserves to know exactly what she’s in for. She’s going to hate herself when she finds out what he’s condemned to if we don’t break the conditioning.”

“She already hates herself, but if we’re not careful this might be the thing to break her.”

Both of them stilled when they realised what a broken Natasha meant. If she didn’t have anything holding her to SHIELD anymore, what kind of chaos and devastation she could wreak.

“So what is he condemned to?” Natasha asked blandly as she silently joined the pair. Neither of them had jumped, as it was expected from Natasha to turn up on silent feet from the shadows.

“That can wait til we are secure,” Coulson replied before smiling. “It’s good to see you Nat.”

“Good seeing you too Phil. I had hoped when I found out about your recovery it would mean I could see you but you’ve been busy.”

She settled next to them and accepted a coffee from the waitress.

Phil continued a litany of small talk going, not that it was easy considering who he was with but thankfully Nat was used to acting undercover and was participating, although not with much feeling. 

Once the three had finished their drinks and the meals that May and Coulson had been waiting on, they made their way to Nat’s safe house.

As soon as the door was shut, Nat deployed the various security features that would help making monitoring of their conversations difficult to virtually impossible and turned to face the two. After she nodded, Coulson spoke up.

“If I hand you a folder, can you please confirm if you know of the subject and if that subject is Barton?”

She held her hand out and waited for him to hand it over. She barely glanced at the subject sheet before she sat down.

“It is.”

“Damnit,” Coulson exclaimed and went to take the folder back.

“Not so quickly, Agent Coulson… mind telling me how you got your hands on this?” Natasha asked steely.

“Director,” May interjected.

“What was that?” Nat asked.

“Director Coulson, not Agent Coulson,” she answered with a nod towards Phil.

Nat raised an eyebrow at the pair, the only sign she was confused.

“After being shot by The Winter Soldier, Fury decided that he would remain dead. Which lead to a vacancy in SHIELD. He decided I should fill it,” Coulson explained. “However, he wasn’t the one to give me the file. That would have been one of the doctors who brought me back to life.”

“Why?” Nat questioned.

“Because he knew that the treatment was failing on me. And he knew that I had begged to die when they used the part that was used on the subject in this folder. Also, that I had recommended to Fury to never use it on anyone else, since they had all had signs of their treatment failing and making them go crazy.”

As he spoke, Natasha did all she could not to give away the paling of her face as she listened to what she might have condemned Clint to.

Her phone ringing interrupted their conversation.

“Romanov.”

She listened to Fury telling her she needed to get Barton out into the field again soon, by any means possible. That he was showing signs that things were breaking down. That she needed to get him distracted. He hung up before she could tell him any differently.

“Shit.”

May and Coulson looked at her.

“Times running out. He’s starting to remember.”

And all while she began panicking internally about how she was going to deal with the fallout of losing his trust, she began to feel hopeful that she might be getting her Clint back.

*

They finished their meeting with not much planned on how to stop it from happening but Coulson had filled Natasha in on what to look for and what he had gone through. It gave her hopes for things to improve… and a resolution to never force Clint through the Theta Machine that Coulson had been made to use against his will.

Now, she was on her way to Lagos to meet up with Steve, Sam and Wanda as they had finally gotten a lead on Rumlow, who had been gaining too much attention to himself in an attempt to draw them out. They all knew it would be a trap but they still had to do something to stop others from falling victim. The death count had been low so far, if they were lucky, it would stay low.

*

The Accords were sitting in front of them, and they all debated on what to do. She had heard a number of arguments for both sides that would have swayed a normal person into choosing their side, but she wasn’t a normal person.

She excused herself and headed into another room, before picking up her phone.

*

“Well, well. Was just about to call you to give you your weekly Nate update,” Clint answered his phone with a jovial tone.

“Not now Barton,” she attempted to impart a serious, business like tone into her voice but he ignored it.

“Oh, come on Nat. You know you love me,” he said in a joking way, then stilled. A flash went through his brain of the two of them in bed together. But that wasn’t right. He’d never slept with her, despite knowing that that was what she had expected him to do after he hadn’t killed her.

“I do, do I?” she asked, trying to mask her sadness at the reminder of what she had lost.

“So, what’s up?” he asked, trying to get things back on track and avoid the sudden longing for his partner that he was feeling.

“I need you to side against me.”

“What!?” His voice rose over the course of the short word. He felt his eyebrows lift and knew that if Nat could see him, she’d give him grief about being obviously surprised and not hiding it. “No way Tash. Whatever you are doing, I’m on your side, and you know that.”

“Something big is about to happen. Something that may tear the team apart but I need you to keep an eye on the other half while I watch the others,” she replied calmly, rolling her eyes at his protectiveness. Regardless of what had happened with the replacement memories, that part had remained the same.

She explained the Accords to him and who was siding with who. She explained how she was going to side with Tony and needed him to go with Steve if asked.

“And in the meantime?” he asked seriously. “Do you need me to come in?”

“I tell them that you’re retired,” she answered with a shrug, not that he could see it.

“You seem to keep forgetting that, Romanov.”


	3. Chapter 3

Agent Laura Anderson wasn’t a high ranked agent at SHIELD. She was a level 3 analyst, dealing mainly with low level operational support which while it didn’t sound glamorous, was a safe option for her. It allowed her a chance to be there for her children after their father died recently. She was known within the lower levels as having a big heart and a calming influence when things were heading south. 

So when Fury and Natasha were discussing the issue of Clint Barton’s rapidly spiralling guilt and increased chance of possibly not attempting to come out of a mission alive, the idea of having her watching over him was something that was appealing. The biggest issue was selling the idea to her and her children.

*

“You want me to what?” Laura questioned incredulously.

“To take on a highly classified mission to save the life of a high profile operative,” Fury replied blandly.

“But… I’m not a high enough agent to be on that type of mission. Don’t they go to like a level 7 operative?” she argued while looking over the non-disclosure agreement that Fury was asking her to sign before he would go into further information about who it was that he was assigning her to or how he would organise it.

Everything read as though it should be okay for her, even if she declined the mission, as long as she didn’t mention anything about this conversation to anyone not approved by Fury.

The fact Fury even knew who she was threw her. Normally, he would send Agent Coulson to deal with the lower levels… and oh. Yeah. She had forgotten that Agent Coulson had been killed on the helecarrier.

“Am I at least allowed to think over the mission before I agree to it, once you tell me more information?” she asked as she signed her name on the NDA.

“You are.”

She handed the form back to Fury and then felt eyes on her. Turning around, she almost jumped. Natasha Romanov had somehow snuck in and was watching her closely.

And that was how it was explained to her what was occurring to the operative known as Hawkeye and what Fury was hoping she would agree to.

* 

Explaining to her children was a difficult task. Cooper was luckily old enough to be able to at least understand why they would have to move if she took on the high risk job, Lila though was still too traumatised at the loss of her daddy to really want to comprehend anything else. She hadn’t even raised the idea of a new man in their lives.

And that was when she discovered that she was pregnant.

*

“Thank you for seeing me Agent Romanov,” Laura said when Natasha slid into the booth opposite her.

“If you’re going to do this, you need to start calling me Nat.”

Laura gulped. Calling one of the best operatives in SHIELD by a nickname was foreign to her.

“Clint would be suspicious if you didn’t,” Nat reminded her gently. “He’d be wondering if you had something against his partner if you couldn’t call me by my first name at least.”

“Sorry, it’s just… you have to admit that this is by far the craziest idea anyone has ever proposed to me,” Laura replied quickly. “It’s almost too far-fetched really.”

Natasha showed the briefest glimpse at a smile on her face, before it slid back into a neutral mask.

“So, what’s up? Did you need any more information or something?” Natasha prodded, trying to get the conversation back on track.

“Um, no. I mean, more information would always help because I’m supposed to know so much about his life so anything you can give me would be awesome and help me work out if I can do this. But… I called cause I just found out something which means I don’t know if I can do this and I am really concerned because I’m honored and all but I have to think of my children and now I found out I’m pregnant and I just don’t know what to do anymore,” she rushed. “I’m sorry; I just don’t know what the right decision is.”

“Congratulations. I didn’t realise that the loss of your partner was so recent,” Natasha replied softly. “If I had, I would not have agreed to this being put forward to you. You deserve time to grieve properly.”

“Kyle and I had been separated for a while,” Laura admitted. “This baby was, unfortunately, the outcome of an attempt to reconcile for the benefit of the children.”

“And I take it, by the way you are talking, that it didn’t go well?” Natasha prodded, gently.

“No. After we fell in bed with each other, the rest of the time we were screaming at one another. He was great with the kids, don’t get me wrong, but we just didn’t mesh anymore.”

“It happens, not that I have much experience in that area; so please don’t think I am being callous. And I’m hoping you can give me advice as often as I give you advice during this whole thing.”

Laura looked at her with a puzzled expression.

“I’m sure you’ve heard the gossip and rumors…?” Natasha let the question hang for a moment, waiting for Laura to nod her head. Once she saw the understanding in Laura’s eyes, she continued. “Clint and I have been together as partners for a long time. Not just work partners but to use a corny line, life partners. So I don’t know how to grieve the end of a relationship. I know that definitely sounds callous, but if you can help me with dealing with that, I can definitely help you with lots of little things that no report could ever detail.”

She took a breath, calming herself.

“As for you being pregnant, Clint will be over the moon. I know it’s something that he had thought about but realised that between his work and mine, it could never be. He’s always needed a sense of normalcy to survive. Coulson and I worked hard to try to give him that whenever he came back from a mission that he had been on that we hadn’t. Like a loving family for him to return to. But you, you can give him that. You can give him that normal life in a way we never could.”

Laura sat there in shock, barely noticing Natasha slipping away. She never realised that Natasha felt so deeply, so tangibly. She had brought into the whole no nonsense, no feeling, Russian assassin propaganda that everyone else had.

Now, it made sense to her why Natasha wanted the best for her partner, regardless of what it meant for her.

And that made the choice all that much easier.


	4. Chapter 4

There were times where it felt like Clint had lived two lives. 

He can remember Cooper being born, holding him gently, swearing to protect him. He can remember changing diapers and helping to feed him.

But in those moments, he can also remember buildings crumbling beneath his feet, dodging bullets, arrows flying and seeking out those who attacked Tasha.

He can remember Lila coming into his world. He remembers Budapest.

Lila was a gorgeous baby; Natasha had almost died.

Lila’s screams would wake up the whole house; his screams were for someone to save Tasha.

Cooper would be grumpy after his sister woke him; Coulson was grumpy because he had ruined his favourite tie trying to stop the bleeding but it was the kind of put upon grumpy to help distract them.

The small family would cuddle in front of the fire; Strike Team Delta cuddled together to avoid hypothermia.

Clint raked a hand through his hair and exhaled shakily. The memories were coming thick and fast. But were they memories? He hadn’t been in Budapest when the shit storm had happened. He had been right here with Laura, helping deliver Lila. Hadn’t he?

Surely, he would have been with his wife while she was expecting and not out on a mission. He always got cleared for time off around the time she was due.

‘Just like Budapest, all over again.’

Natasha’s voice cut through his thoughts. She had made that comment during the attack in New York. Spoke it like he had been there.

‘You and I remember Budapest very differently.’

He had always thought that he had responded like that because he hadn’t been there, because how would he remember anything other than feeling the panic of knowing something had happened to his partner but being unable to get in there to help out.

But those memories flittering through his brain had supplied that he had been there. That in a way, they had been close to what had happened with the Chitauri; overwhelming odds but the two of them together, fighting for their lives. Surprisingly, the Chitauri fight resulted in way less blood loss to either of them, but it was still something that they hadn’t expected to win once they realised the severity of the numbers against them.

Why couldn’t he think straight? 

*

When Steve Rogers called him and told him what was happening, he remembered what Natasha had expected of him. He agreed to get Wanda and to pick up Falcon’s contribution to the team.

When Steve had told him that Tony had practically imprisoned Wanda at the Avengers’ Facility, regardless of Natasha wanting him on the other team, he would have chosen it anyways. That Tony would even consider it, to one of his own teammates, was horrifying.

They had all suffered loss, they had all suffered blame.

But to lock up one of their own, one suffering still from so much grief, was almost inhuman all on its own.

Next thing you’d know, they’d be tampering with his head.

He paused. Why had he thought that? He knew without a doubt that Wanda was female. He’d have no issues if she told him she was male, he had nothing against anyone being transgender or gender neutral. But that was a clear thought of someone male being tampered with in that manner.

Now wasn’t the time to dwell on it.

He exhaled, drew back the explosive arrow and let fly. As soon as he shot it, he was on the move to get inside the compound, knowing that he’d only have moments to set up what he needed to slow Vision down while he got Wanda out.

*

The drive to get Scott Lang was long and silent; he and Wanda had talked quietly over what had happened before both of them had fallen into their thoughts.

“Clint?”

He allowed his mind to slam back into the present and gave a quick look at Wanda.

“Are you okay?”

Was he okay? Not really… but he couldn’t let that distract him from what was coming up.

“Yeah, totally,” he replied, almost sounding sincere.

“For now, I will let you get away with that answer,” Wanda answered with a small smile.

“Now you sound like Nat, how much did she train you?” Clint asked, trying to dodge the implications about Wanda asking him that question again.

*

Surprisingly, he thought first of Tasha being missing. Not that he wouldn’t be able to see his kids again, but that he had no idea while in prison whether Tasha had survived playing Stark and Ross about which side she was on. In fact, his family didn’t come to mind until Tony had mentioned it.

Some father he was.

But he knew they were safe. Despite everything going on, Stark wouldn’t sell Laura and the kids down the creek just as leverage over him. At least, he didn’t think he would.

*

They were on the run.

Steve had managed to ‘liberate’ them from the holding Ross had them in. Clint sheltered Wanda as well as he could. Protecting her from the elements while they rushed for the helicopter. He shouldered Sam out of the way, to take the second seat next to Steve. Ready to assist as co-pilot, letting Steve plot the course that they would take before taking over.

“Where are we going?” Wanda asked them quietly, speaking her first words since they’d been arrested.

“Some place we can rest,” Steve answered. “His Highness, T’Challa will take you in.”

Clint looked at Steve out of the corner of his eye, allowing the surprise from the others speak instead of him.

“Has he heard…” he began as soon as the others had quietened.

“Nat’s on her way,” Steve answered instinctively. “She got word through to me earlier.”

Clint let out a deep breath, and a small smile. She was alright. That was a relief. Once they were together, he’d be able to stand down from this hyperawareness he was in. She always made him feel safe.

“By the way,” Steve continued with a smirk on his face. “So much for helping me out because I was the first to ask. Nat told me she’d paired you with me.”

Clint rolled his eyes before answering. “She rightly knew I’d kill Stark if I was on his team without her as a buffer.”

* 

He had been asleep when he felt her presence enter his room. As she came over towards him, he lifted the blanket to make room for her to lie down with him. She snuggled next to him without a thought. His brain supplied the thought ‘this is right’ just before he fell asleep again.


	5. Chapter 5

When Natasha left Stark, she called the number that Coulson had given her and organised for May to pick her up and get her away from Stark, Ross and any other idiots who would get in her way.

Her safe house was the only option for now, but it was one that only a few people knew about and so would be safe for the moment. Of course, one of those few was a supposedly dead man who as far as she had been aware was supposed to be touring Europe hunting down HYDRA.

“Nick.”

“Nat. You guys don’t get the meaning of the word subtle do you?”

She sat on the couch opposite him and raised an eyebrow.

“Couldn’t be more of a shit storm out there if you actually tried, you know?” Fury commented with barely a readable tone in his voice. Natasha knew based on that voice alone that Fury wasn’t happy but she couldn’t care less.

“Give it a few hours, then you’ll really see a shit storm,” Natasha answered flatly.

“Is that a threat?” he responded just as flat.

“No, just wondering how Ross will react to a jail break that I can see coming in the near future…” Natasha said with a slight shrug of her shoulder. “You know Steve won’t allow the others to remain there for long, especially considering he put them in the fucking Raft. What the hell, Nick? You gave them the Raft?”

“No choice, I needed leverage. You seeing Coulson?”

“What do you think?”

“Good. I think it’s time don’t you?”

“Nick…” she warned.

“He’s fighting it anyways. Sooner or later, those cracks are going to open at the wrong time and you know it.”

“Does Laura know?”

“She figured out what was happening, let me know. But someone blew up the facility so it’s not like I can strengthen it even if I wanted to.”

“Coulson?” she asked, with a small smile, completely knowing it would be him.

“Of course it was fucking Phil. Makes my goddamn life hell. If only he wasn’t the best at what he does.”

“Aww, Sir. You don’t really mean that do you?”

Nat slowly turned to see Phil and Melinda in the doorway, finally making their presence known. She was enjoying the facial expression that Fury had when he realised that there were witnesses to his conversation.

“Been there long?”

“Since the start. You know, you’re really losing your touch in the afterlife,” Coulson responded with a smirk.

“God damn it Cheese.”

*

They were heading towards the co-ordinates that Steve had messaged her. May was going to drop them off then get back to the team to help them track down one of their own who was currently suffering from her own grief.

“How are you holding up Tash?” Coulson asked her quietly.

She shook her head.

“You know he’ll forgive you. He’ll be angry for a bit, but it’s you. He’ll always come back to you.”

She leaned on him, resting her head on his shoulder.

“I hope you’re right.”

She closed her eyes.

*

She’d just quickly check on him. Make sure that he knew she was there and safe. They had always worked that way, letting the other know when they were back from solo missions. It would be the same as always. He’d be worried about her otherwise.

She opened the door that Steve had pointed to her, and she peered in. He was resting, not giving any indication whether he was awake or asleep. She took a step in, watching his face in the dim light. Still no indication from him that he knew she was there. A few more steps inside the room, and he raised the blanket.

Natasha slipped off her shoes, and slipped into bed next to him. She snuggled up next to him without a thought.

She shouldn’t be here. She really shouldn’t.

Natasha laid wrapped in his arms, something she’d missed so much over the past several months. But after everything that had happened, she needed to be close to him.

She wouldn’t stay. She couldn’t stay.

She turned her head and buried her head in his neck.

A few minutes longer wouldn’t matter too much would it?

With that Natasha fell asleep.

*

Natasha awoke to the feeling of someone staring down at her. She blinked open her eyes, her brain having already registered whoever was watching her was safe. Clint’s face entered her vision, he looked a little puzzled but not angry.

“Hey you,” he said softly.

“Hey,” she replied quietly.

“When did you get in?” he asked her curiously.

“A few hours ago; didn’t want to wake you,” she responded.

“Thanks,” he said with a smile. “Didn’t sleep much at the Raft, needed to make sure Wanda was okay. Not that they let me too close to her. Bastards.”

“I’m planning on checking up on her later today,” Natasha confirmed.

“I’ll come with you. But why are you here? Not that I’m complaining,” he rushed. “But you don’t normally stay in my bed unless we’re on a mission together.”

He shifted his position a little, still looking at her.

“Or do you?” Clint continued. She stilled and felt like a deer in the headlights. “I feel we’ve done this way more times in quiet times than mission times, but I don’t remember.”

“Umm,” she couldn’t think of a worthwhile response.

“Nat… am I cheating on Laura with you? Why can’t I remember why this feels so familiar?”

It took her a moment to gather her wits, and in the meantime, she could see he was beginning to panic.

“Clint! No, you are not cheating on Laura,” she told him firmly, grasping his face between her hands, forcing him to stare at her.

“As for what you are remembering at the moment, there is an explanation, but it’s not a believable one. You just have to trust me, okay?”

He stilled and took a deep breath.

“So what’s the explanation?”

“For that, we need to get dressed and then there is someone you need to see…” she replied, hoping that Phil would be ready for them.


End file.
